How Women Shaped My Life, including Nora Ephron

"Note: This blog entry means much to me. It is dedicated to filmmaker Nora Ephron, who sadly passed away on Tuesday June 26th. I wanted to make certain that my words not only expressed my thoughts of her and her work, but how she was one of the women who helped direct my path in the writing world. As always, I thank you for taking the time to read. To Ms. Ephron and her family, my deepest sympathy to you. She was a remarkable woman and her light will be missed."

Nora Ephron (May 19, 1941 – June 26, 2012)

I know that I have stated before that my "burgeoning" writing career at one time consisted of doing the copy for the obituary section of a newspaper. The irony is that the paper is now gone, with people using the internet for its news source it became a casualty of technology. I suppose I could have written their obituary as well.  My exposure to writing the synopsis of the lives of the deceased had allowed me to craft my skill. It taught me how to be expressive of the people I wrote of, people I never met, for families I never knew.  It turned out that this gave me a classroom of sorts, for character building. Grateful though I am for the experience, times like these I feel as though it is a repetitive routine when writing a tribute following the death of someone famous, especially when they unknowingly had an impact on my life.

My love for writing began shortly after my love of books developed. I can remember that I had little interest in reading when I was young, my parents read books to me every night, but honestly, I thought they were just telling tales to make me go to sleep. Then a school crossing guard gave me a book to read over the weekend, and told me to tell her what I thought about it on Monday. The book was Little Women by Louisa May Alcott and I was hooked. Over the next week I read the entire book and returned it to Mrs "B". She had another book for me, Anne of Green Gables, thus began my love affair. Before I knew it, I had developed an insatiable appetite for books and words.   

Then came English class in junior high, with Miss Lipton. Her excitement about literature was infectious.  I couldn't wait for third period, she introduced me to sonnets, poetry and William Shakespeare. As my progression through my education continued, I was fortunate to have had some of the best teachers and influences in my life; opening doors to the literary world. The library became my second home, but now I wanted to create. In walks Mrs Lorianne Brooks, and her red pen and side notations. This teacher took the time to not just grade my papers, she made certain to tell me where I made my mistakes and how I could improve. I took them to heart, and hope that she knows she truly made a difference.

The string that ties this all together is what happened to me a few years ago when I happened to be visiting my grandmother on the Upper West Side of New York City. After finishing the running morning errands with her, I decided to take a walk in my beloved city. Now if you are unfamiliar with this city this may seem odd, but in Manhattan we see stars everywhere, some of us are too busy to acknowledge them, others gawk. On this particular day I saw Nora Ephron, and I was as the Brits say "Gobsmacked!' She was sitting in a cafe, I imagine waiting for a friend. I summoned the courage and began to babble of how I admire her work, how her book and movie Heartburn saved me when I was going through my divorce and then apologized for interrupting her thanking her for listening to me prattle on. She was gracious, and told me thank you. She asked me what I did for work, and told her how I had a small column in a fledgling paper, but my dream was to write. She told me; "Then write! You will never know if you don't and living with regret will only make you wish you tried." Here is the proverbial bow from the string that tied these strong, passionate women, who all had wit and helped shaped me, tying them together. 

Today I write, with some published poetry under my belt. Still passionate about words and their power. Nurtured by women who walked in my life, some in classrooms, some in books and movies. My hope is only that one day I too will be an influence in the lives of other women aspiring to write.

Admittedly this blog entry was inspired upon learning of the death of Nora Ephron. She truly was a woman to be reckoned with. A feminist, not only making it in a man's world of Hollywood films and story telling, but creating female characters with depth, that were not only relate able, but ones that made us cheer for them, even with their flaws. They were human, they were real, and for me best of all they were vulnerable yet strong. I was too young to appreciate Heartburn when it first was published, but came across it in the midst of my divorce. Like many others, I was delighted when I saw her work on film. Laughing incessantly at the witty lines exchanged between the characters. Films that have been given the label of "chick flicks", that in retrospect are more of couple flicks. She had an insight into the human condition when it came to matters of the heart. Finally romantic movies were no longer about a Prince riding in on a white horse rescuing a damsel in distress, it was about foolish choices, miscommunication, angst, and awkwardness, in other words it was real life.


I have to admit that my affection for Nora Ephron also came from a commonalty we shared. Not just that of women who married more than once, being betrayed by our choices. Our connection was forged within a city, the city of New York. In the majority of her movies you could feel her love affair with Manhattan, from the scenery, to the iconic structures that often played as important a role as the characters she wrote of. 


No, I will never forget Ms. Ephron, although I am certain that I was just another one of her many fans on that afternoon in a street-side cafe. Fortunately, we will have her many works to remember her. A legacy that will live in Harry and Sally, Sam, Annie and Jonah, Kathleen and Joe, and most recently Julie and Julia. Rest in peace Ms. Nora Ephron, and thank you for giving a young woman words of wisdom that forever changed my world.

Before I conclude, I want to add a comment from Meryl Streep, a good friend of Nora Ephron, who starred in her films Heartburn and most recently Julie & Julia. Upon learning the news of her friend's death Ms Streep said; "She was a true trailblazer, Nora Ephron leaves behind a legacy of always knowing the right (and wittiest) thing to say. She was "an expert" in all the departments of living well."

Now you know I can't end an entry without a few quotes; so why not the ones from the woman who made words dance off of a page and capture our hearts.

"To state the obvious, romantic comedies have to be funny and they have to be romantic. But one of the most important things, for me anyway, is that they be about two strong people finding their way to love."~Nora Ephron

"I try to write parts for women that are as complicated and interesting as women actually are."~Nora Ephron

"Reading is one of the main things I do. Reading is everything. Reading makes me feel I've accomplished something, learned something, become a better person. Reading makes me smarter."~Nora Ephron