Let's Talk Politics

ap·a·thy [ap-uh-thee] noun, plural ap·a·thies

1.absence or suppression of passion, emotion, or excitement.

2.lack of interest in or concern for things that others find moving or exciting.

3.Also, ap·a·thei·a, ap·a·thi·a  Stoicism . freedom from emotion of any kind.

di·vi·sive [dih-vahy-siv] adjective.  Related forms di·vi·sive·ly, adverb di·vi·sive·ness, noun

1. forming or expressing division or distribution.
2. creating dissension or discord.

No, I am not making my blog into the latest version of the Merriam Webster Dictionary. I purposefully chose these two words to best express what I believe has pervaded our country's current state of affairs. The apathy that we suffer from is what has allowed the perversion of our very foundation; our democracy. 

We sat by, and were seemingly apathetic to the corruption of some politicians and the CEO's that were sitting in positions of power at conglomerates. The common denominator for all and the one thing that unified them; GREED. The incessant need for more money, more power and at all costs.  Today a CEO at multibillion dollar corporation is making more than 300 times the lowest wage earner at his company. In the 1970's, when this country faced another rough economy the ratio did not reflect this same drastic difference. On the average the highest wage earner at a company would make 10 to 15 times more than that of the lowest wage earner. We've come a long way baby,... and not in a good way. 

When discussing our collective apathy, it is in reference to our not balking or rising up with disdain when we all saw the writing on the wall. When home prices rose exponentially, yet the median income did not. We lived beyond our means, most living on credit and no one said a word. When the bottom fell out we were aghast, and then had the udder audacity to be perplexed as to how it all happened. Today we find ourselves still reeling from one of the most catastrophic economic crisis this country has seen in over 75 years. This economic downfall and slow turn around has made us nervous and susceptible to fear and paranoia, making us ripe for the picking when it comes to our votes for a politician. Like a charlatan, they will make the promise that they can rescue us, and give us the golden roads we once had. Welcome to the presidential elections, enter divisiveness, following swiftly behind.

How great it is to be an American, a country where your voice is heard with the simple casting of a vote! Although today have set a different tone, with talks and proposed legislation to bring on voter suppression. I cannot remember when this country was ever so divided. It is one thing to support your party, and or candidate weather you are a Republican or a Democrat, but to go to the levels of throwing blatant lies, distortions of the truth and out right smearing is simply outrageous. 

My contention is not with the candidates themselves, I am certain both men are intelligent (having both graduated from Harvard Law), and are loyal respectable family men. I am also certain that it is not the objective of either candidate to intentionally divide the citizens of the nation that want to lead. However, it is becoming the result of their campaign supporters and Super PACs. 

Although I know that mudslinging has become as common in the course of running for elected office, as slapping a bumper sticker on your car is, the divisive nature of the mudslinging is not constructive to creating an effective democracy. Lately when turning on the television we are thrown into a world of political pundits spewing their opinion as fact. Gone are the days of debating issues, and each candidate presenting a platform on which they stand. It is almost as if I am tuning to Friday Fight Night, all that is missing is Howard Cosell sitting ring side giving the blow by blow. "In this corner we have the Right Wing Conservative Mitt Romney, hailing from Massachusetts....and in the other corner we have the Left Wing Liberal POTUS Barack Obama holding steadfast for a second term...ding ding." Really is this what we want from our leaders? To challenge each other not on record, or their abilities, but who has more dirt than who? 

In comes the subterfuge of the Super PAC. Pick a side folks, don't stand by the sidelines and try to weigh out the issues and actually think. There is a quote that comes to mind with regards to the discord that exists currently and never has this quote  been more relative until now. It is this; "Politics, it seems to me, for years, or all too long, has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong." ~Richard Armour.  

The reason I wrote this blog was in part due to the nonstop chatter that has been taking place on social media. It is my expansion on a status that I had posted in hopes to reign in the continuous negative postings I was seeing. What I had stated then was that if you have to insult and lie about your opponent then maybe you lack confidence in your candidate. What had been a place for me to catch up with family and friends, has now become a war zone. In particular for me I have two friends that are passionate about their candidates. While I can appreciate their passion, I cannot handle the constant insulting posts they have insulting the opponent. To bring into question the birth right of Barack Obama, who I might remind everyone was born to an American mother, regardless of where you think he was born. If it was a legitimate birth for Mitt Romney's father, it is for Mr Obama. Also the inference that Mitt Romney is concerned only with making money and cannot see beyond the dismantling of businesses and will in turn do the same to America. ENOUGH! Let us weigh the issues, and find who is best for the job. 
 

Those who feel disenfranchised there is a simple solution, VOTE, let your voice be heard. If you believe in leveling out the playing field, take a look at the Democrats and their platform. If you are more concerned about keeping government small and not having a large role in your life, examine the Republican party and listen to what their candidate is actually saying. Collectively what we all must do is stop listening to the noise. Gather fact and get rid of the fiction, and please remember, this too shall pass. This is a nation that has survived elections, drought, recessions and inflation. What makes us unique in the world is that America, regardless of what has gone on, We Are Resilient. We can and have weathered the storms, we are an optimistic sort, and perhaps our optimism to a better America will be the America we all can come together to create.

Being this is my blog, I cannot end an entry without a quote or two. Influenced by the constant references to the founding fathers, (and some manipulation to suit a party's need), I want to leave you with some quotes from them to ponder. Their words are as relevant today as they were over 400 years ago. As always thank you for reading, and please remember to vote.

"Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost."   — John Quincy Adams 

 " Liberty cannot be preserved without a general knowledge among the people." - John Adams 

"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those who are willing to work and give to those who would not." ~ Thomas Jefferson

"It is universally admitted that a well-instructed people alone can be permanently a free people." - James Madison

 "I think the best way of doing good to the poor, is not making them easy in poverty, but leading or driving them out of it." - Benjamin Franklin

In Remembrance of the Fallen

There isn't a New Yorker that I know of, that will not shed a tear today. Whether it is while they are alone, or surrounded by others, also joining in mourning. Today is September 11th. A day that is forever seared in our hearts and minds, a day that America found out that terror can and will visit itself upon our shores, a day that we remember the fallen.

It also happens to be a Tuesday, the same day when the heinous tragic act of terrorism took place. I remember that day of eleven years ago as clearly as if it were yesterday. I can still feel the air of that morning, I also still feel the slight panic I had from running late for work, knowing I had a ten a.m. project meeting. The worst is I can still smell the odor that lingered in the air from the aftermath.  

Here we are eleven years later and I still can't bring myself to go downtown. I had an opportunity to go recently for a family function, during the drive; once we got past Varrick Street, I held my breath. Though the skyline has changed permanently, in my mind's eye it is all still the same, making what my eyes actually see hard to digest. Still when I look to the city from New Jersey, I search for those two towers, in a city I once called home, and still so many years later I am distressed to see they are gone from my vision. I suppose it is the same for many of those who were there or have a connection to the Towers.
 
Normally, on this solemn day I retreat. First within myself, then, from the world outside (read previous post: Remembrance). I take this time to reflect, cry and remember.  I remember my friends, coworkers, the people I stood next to on the elevator, whose name I never knew, and the countless faces that no longer grace us with their presence. I hear the sound of the whistling hiss that ran through the air, sounding like a missile before the ground shook for a second time when the South Tower was hit. This year I want something different, this year I want to say thank you,..again.

I want to thank those courageous first responders, who willingly, without concern for themselves, came into the fire while we ran for our lives. I want to thank the firefighters, police officers and EMS that acted out of bravery, to save the lives of strangers. I want to give thanks to the soldiers who stood guard, and those who went to far off lands, in order to fight in two wars for our nation. I also want to thank those brave passengers, who took it upon themselves to give their own lives, rather than be used to cause further carnage on American soil. All of the above mentioned, were willing to pay with the ultimate sacrifice,..their lives for our FREEDOM.

A lot has happened since that day eleven years ago. I got remarried and had another child, a daughter who is still too young to understand what occurred on this day, in the not so distant past.  She will learn from me of its' significance and of the exemplary acts of courage that followed, from school it will be another piece of American history.

The only thing that I can hope for is that during this election year our politicians can take a moment from the rhetoric, and pause to reflect as well. The spirit of the day in America, following the attacks on the Towers and the Pentagon and the crash of Flight 93, was that of a united front. We were one, we were shell-shocked, but we were not defeated, because to defeat the American spirit, you would have to eliminate all of us. We draped ourselves in Red, White and Blue, not in Republican or Democrat nor Independent. The voices of the people resounded in a thunderous chorus, sounding off as one. To paraphrase one of my favorite poets, Dylan Thomas; we will not go gently into that good night! We will rise up, for united we stand, and united we were on that warm September morning and the somber days that followed. 

We sometimes need to remember this, especially at a time when our nation is tearing itself apart during a Presidential election. Rather than divide, we need to remember the thread that holds us all together, the thread that keeps us tethered to a flag, a nation, an ideal; that of Freedom and Democracy for all.  I for one will wrap myself in Old Glory,and  in the true tenements that established this country. It is our ideals that others despise, it is viewed by our enemies as our arrogance, but it is not arrogance, but pride. Although we are not perfect, we have had many failings in our history, but we have always held onto the ideal that freedom is a precious right of all citizens. 

This is still a nation that many come to seeking that freedom, and opportunity for a better life. We are and have always been a nation of immigrants, a diversity that strengthen its people, making us stronger and always the beacon calling others to want what we have. So rather wallow in my grief, I will rejoice in my freedom, my pride and my nation. For what other country could produce so many heroes, that came from all walks of life, and selflessly stood together to save their brethren, regardless of the cost to themselves. 

 

In Remembrance to the 2,977 Lives Lost on 9/11. 

To the families, my heart is still with you. 

We will never forget

To my friends, I miss you

Farah Jeudy    Joey Maio    Christopher Scudder

The Elephant in the Room

I would be remiss, if in my blog I did not talk about the "Elephant" in the room, the Presidential election of 2012. Although I know the rule of thumb is to never discuss race, religion and politics with neighbors, family or friends at a dinner party, but sometimes you just can't avoid it.  Although I will not be discussing in this blog post my own political affiliation or choice, it would remove from the point I will be trying to make, there is a possibility that it may pop up; so my apologies ahead of time.

Recently, I came across a photo (see above), and it struck me that tensions are high this year, higher than it has been in years. I have seen fellow bloggers go off their main course of topic in their posts, dedicating it to the end of President Obama or the ruin of the GOP. There has been misinformation, misleading ads on both sides of the fence, some to the point of causing this woman nausea. At times it is shameful, distasteful but this is what American politics has come to. Regardless of where you stand, personal attacks are never warranted when the discussion of the state of our nation and how it is to be governed, is concerned. 

In 2008, we were a country at the precipice of the worst economic free fall it had seen in over 75 years. We, the American people had been clueless as to how serious the situation was, today we have not yet recovered. Is it wrong for us to have expected more? No, but it was foolish to think that in four years all things would be back to normal. The reality check is this, we will never have the economy of the past again, because we (collectively) partied like it was 1999 and when we got the bill were shocked that we had to pay for it.

The continuous deregulating of banks and Wall Street, was only going to bite us in the proverbial ass. Deregulations, that admittedly occurred by both parties. The out-sourcing of jobs; and you know what I am talking about if you ever dialed customer service and had a chance to speak with "Chuck" from Mumbai; jobs that once upon a time were always here. This too cost us, and again was contributed to by both parties. 

For years, I have been balking about the disappearing middle class in America. Today the middle class seems to be the "go-to" word of the  political pundits. The shame is in order for us to remain a society with more than two classes, we the people need to start playing a more active role in our politics. Not by bashing one another, but rather by finding a way to compromise across the aisle to benefit all, not just one. Yet, we seem to be stuck in the mire of being right and see compromise as a weakness instead of a strength.

Last week I watched the RNC and I listened to the speakers, and the candidates, some said things that struck me as good, some that struck me as poor, point is I listened. Listening is the key, and it is my fervent hope that those that were elected to serve listen too. 

This week was the DNC's turn to talk to America, and tell us their platform. The pundits were talking about how the Obama/Biden ticket has lost its' hype and luster that it had in 2008. I find this statement to be a sad commentary. I, for one am not looking to go back, and most definitely not back to four years ago, when we were falling apart and bleeding at the seams.

I could make an argument for President Barack Obama, and why he should be re-elected. There are many things that his administration has accomplished that I benefited from. "OBAMACARE" (another word I despise, it's Universal Healthcare), had it been in existence in 2002 when I was first diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, might have prevented me from being in a wheelchair today. In the same breath I could make an argument for Governor Mitt Romney, mostly because he was the architect for the healthcare system that now exists, and his business acumen might be beneficial to this nation, but I won't make either. 

The decision that we make when we go to the polls in November is for your own self. It is a decision that should be made intelligently, weighing the pros and the cons of both candidates. This means we have to go to work and become informed. If you are a Democrat, make certain that your ideas and ideals are what your candidate supports. If you are a Republican, do the same. What we cannot do and most definitively should not do is separate the country. 

What I mean by this is we are not a nation of Blues and Reds, we are a country of diversity. To make us into two is defeatist, it takes away from who we are as a nation. I have stated this before, but it bears re-mentioning; on September 12th in 2001 we were a nation of Red, White and Blue. Street after street were draped in our flag, showing a nation's pride at a time when we had been under attack. Should it only take another heinous act of terrorism, to bring forward our Nationalism? We, the people, are just that, people, people who stand united for one Nation, under one flag. Not people for Red or Blue alone. If we keep this in mind no matter what the outcome we should be able to look at one another the following the morning, and remember whatever happens, we are in this together. I say this because regardless; there is no better nation on this earth that I would want to call home. To quote a song; "I am proud to be an American!"

No matter what comes about, I have faith in this great nation of ours. We are a nation that was built on an idea. Think about that, we did not come from Kings or Queens, the country and highest office of the land was not bequeath to one family or one group. It was a group of those who were defiant and decidedly took hold of an idea, the idea of freedom. We are still a young nation, and we have had our share of bad moves and mistakes, but we weathered every storm we faced, only to stand together as one. Defiant? Yes. Resilient? Yes. Everlasting? I believe so. No matter what; to quote Vice President Joe Biden, "It is never a safe bet to bet against America or its people!"

If you are an regular follower of my blog, you know that I have to sign off with a quote; and I do not want to disappoint, so here it goes: 

"Let us not seek the Republican answer or the Democratic answer, but the right answer. Let us not seek to fix the blame for the past. Let us accept our own responsibility for the future. "~John F. Kennedy

Bittersweet

I am back. After a hiatus for the summer I am returning to the blog-o-sphere. I hope your summer was good to you. I spent my summer packing my eldest daughter for college. Going through much of her belongings, deciding what she wanted to take, toss or save at home. Also I have been getting my youngest ready for her entry in elementary school. One in college, one in Kindergarten, both milestones, but taxing for this mom. This blog entry is about my experience on sending the eldest off to her university to start her college career.  It's an exciting year ahead of me, and I plan on blogging  as often as possible. Thanks for reading!
 
 


bit·ter·sweet/ˈbitərˌswēt/

Adjective:

(of food, drink, or flavor) Sweet with a bitter aftertaste.

That is the definition of bittersweet, but honestly for me it has taken a whole new meaning. As I write this blog, I am full of mixed emotions. I am both happy, yet sad, excited, yet cautious, all due to my eldest daughter's beginning her college experience.

Recently, my husband and I drove her to school. We all knew this day was coming, it had been expected. For me, there was no other option, when this now young woman standing before me at 5 feet 10 inches, was first placed in my arms eighteen years ago. What was not anticipated are the mixed emotions that I am now dealing with.

While a part of me is rejoicing at a job well done, another part of me is wishing I could just set the clock back to when she was five and held my hand, as "WE" explored the world around her together. Me, the protective mother lioness, looking over her cub, encouraging her to venture further than she thought possible, knowing all the while I was within reach to pull her out of harm's way. 

The truth is I am a little jealous. I know it is a strange emotion to admit to, but the jealousy is in knowing that she will be sharing new life experiences without me. For eighteen years I shared in her achievements, her stumbles, her dreams and it had been my duty bound responsibility to prepare her for this time of her life. Looking back I should have been preparing myself to let go. 

While on the university campus, my husband and I were one set of parents, in a sea of parents. Each who were leaving our children, so they may begin their lives in adulthood. Hard to believe that I leave her here, hoping that I did enough in preparing her for her future. I heard a lot of parents telling their children a list of "DON'Ts". DON'T DRINK, DON'T DO DRUGS, DON'T HAVE SEX, DON'T FAIL OUT, DON'T, DON'T, DON'T. I rather not leave my daughter with "DON'Ts" but instead a list of DOs.

So here they are; from me to her as she embarks into the world without me.

• DO go into everything with gusto. You can't experience life without tasting it first.
• DO spread your wings, and explore who you are. These college years are a gift to you to discover who you are.
• DO try your best. You can't accomplish anything unless you try first and try whole heartedly.
• DO  embrace your failures as much as your successes. You learn more from your mistakes then you can from your accomplishments.
• DO remember that YOU are the captain of the ship that is your destiny. Your life choices are your own now, so think of what you want from life and keep focused on the end goal. You can achieve anything, because I taught you!

And finally, DO keep in mind that I am here for you. No matter how far, or how near, I am your cheerleader, your champion, your friend, your confidant, most of all your mother. It has been a privilege and honor to be with you from your first breath, your first walk, your first words and I will continue to be here. There is nothing that you can do that will ever disappoint me, or make me anything other than proud of you. For you are my daughter, capable of ANYTHING that you desire.

As I drove away, I took a look at my daughter, with tears streaming down my face; I thought to myself, "Where did the time go?". I know she is a young woman now, but to me she is my baby. Our whole life together flashed through my mind. In an instant, every memory, every laugh, every argument were running through my head and as I wiped my tears away I could see, she was ready and I had to let go. Now I won't lie to you and say this is easy, it is a process, one that I will get through, as will she.
 

To those who read my blog I have this to say. Motherhood is the only job that you invest your all and when you finally get good at it, you are forced into retirement. It can be a thankless job, a difficult job and the pay most definitely sucks! I marvel at my mother more and more everyday, knowing that she sent her girls off and watched us make our lives without her standing right besides us. I made a good life for myself, and think the job was well done because she taught me by example. So to all the mothers out there who sacrifice themselves for their kids, "GOOD JOB MOM!". We will not see a return on our heart filled investment until they are parents themselves. So keep trudging along, be ready to be fired when they turn 18, just remember it will be worth it in the end.

This wouldn't be a proper return to my blog without leaving a quote. It took a long time to find just what I wanted to say.

"When mothers talk about the depression of the empty nest, they're not mourning the passing of all those wet towels on the floor, or the music that numbs your teeth, or even the bottle of capless shampoo dribbling down the shower drain. They're upset because they've gone from supervisor of a child's life to a spectator. It's like being the vice president of the United States"~Erma Bombeck 

Peace,...at least for now

The other day I blogged about my love for sports, and prior to that I had posted a poem about running and my longing to run again. Friday night, the compilation of these two loves arrived, the 2012 Olympics. I suppose my love affair for The Games, began in 1976. I can remember sitting in the family room; being the 70's, it was the designated room that held the television for us kids to watch. It was the summer that I was turning 10 years old. It had been officially known as Games of the XXI Olympiad, and being held in a city I knew all too well, Montreal, in Quebec, Canada.

When you are ten years old, the world and its' policies do not directly impact your world, at least not from your point of view. Your world at ten is primarily made up of your family, neighbors, school and the occasional urban myths you learn at slumber parties. World affairs are not on your top ten list, let alone the top 100, on your list of concerns. 1976 had already been an interesting year in my young life; as it happened to be our nation's Bi-Centennial year. During the school year, we had gone on field trips dressed in colonial clothes to historic sites in the area, and learned the meaning of the Revolutionary War. I believe that was the closest I had come to learning about world affairs, even if it had been historical, in my young life. 

Then the summer games began on July 17th, of that same year. I was hooked, mesmerized even, and unbeknownst to me, I was witnessing history being made. I saw a young Bruce Jenner win the decathlon, breaking and setting world records.  I was fortunate to see a girl, not much older than myself, from Romania named Nadia Comaneci score seven perfect 10's and go on to win 3 gold medals, including the "All-Around". The United States had it's best ever boxing team, made up of five of our best boxers; Sugar Ray Leonard, Leon Spinks, Michael Spinks, Leo Randolph and Howard Davis Jr. winning gold medals in boxing. It is no surprise that out of the five American gold medalists in boxing, all but Davis went on to become professional world champions.

Sadly, the games had already changed. Following what had occurred during the Munich Games, security was now also a priority. I was too young to remember the tragic events of the Munich games that had been held only four years earlier. The massacre of nine Israeli athletes and their coach, by a group of Palestinian terrorists marred the event, casting a shadow on the wins and records set.

This past Friday night however, I delighted again watching the opening ceremonies, as had an estimated one billion around the world. Security still plays a major factor, even more so with the world being in the chaos that it finds itself in at the moment. Yet, for a few weeks in London, all eyes will be on the host city and the athletes, representing their respective countries. Two-hundred and four countries are participating in this summer's Games, competing and facing challenges, all with one purpose. To do their best and push beyond their limits. It is not only about the wins, or the medals, it isn't even about placing; what it is about is doing their personal best; not just for country but for themselves.  

What is absolutely wonderful about the games, is that with the world focused on the events, there is peace, or the illusion of it for a moment in time. In a city, that is the only one in the history of the Olympics, to be the host city three times; thousands of athletes, from different walks of life, varying cultures, will reside near one another. Here there will not be talk of the ills of mankind; but rather the wonderment of what mankind can accomplish. We will witness peace, of 204 countries working together with one goal collectively, to present the best of the best doing their best and presenting the world with wondrous Olympic Games to go down in the history books. Just as they have in the days of Greece thousands of years ago.

The opening ceremony allowed us a glimpse of this peace, as we watched with delight the presentation that London gave us on Friday night. It was moving, and touched me hearing the International Children's Choir sing. To see the interpretation that the London Olympic committee gave, in welcoming the world to center stage. To see former Olympic (and World Boxing Champion) Muhammad Ali touch the Olympic flag, carried in by those whose efforts has been to help the world with humanitarian efforts; symbolized the real meaning of the games. Unity. 

Perhaps the most touching moment for me, was the lighting of the torch. Traditionally, it has been given to one person to have the honor. During this ceremony, it was done by future hopeful Olympic athletes, sponsored by former Olympiads. The connection of past to future, from those who achieved to those working towards that same goal, filled the stadium with hope. For me; where there is hope, there is possibility. The greatest of which is peace in the world.  So, for the next few weeks there will be hope, peace and endless possibilities for some to break records, and even for some to achieve the unimaginable. Regardless, I will be watching, with bated breath, rooting for my country, but mostly rooting for the peace that exists in the Olympic Village, extending to the world. Maybe these 204 countries will finally recognize that it is possible, without war, without guns, but with sharing one purpose and one goal. Today it is the Games, tomorrow, who knows.

I will sign off with a notation before my quotes; during the games I will be on hiatus from the internet. I will return to post once again, following the games and sending my eldest off to college.  Enjoy your summer and enjoy the games! Now for some quotes from former Olympic Athletes.

"I wish people would love everybody else the way they love me. It would be a better world." ~ Muhammad Ali

"When we stage the Olympics it will inspire kids all over the country. A kid in Scotland or Ireland will be encouraged to take."~ Daley Thompson

"The Olympics have been with the world since 776 B.C., and have only been interrupted by war, especially in the modern era."~Bill Toomey

Another American Tragedy

Special Note: To begin with; my prayers and condolences to those who were injured, and most of all to the families whose loved ones were killed. You have my deepest sympathy and are in my thoughts and prayers. Aurora is in my heart, as it is, in much of the country.

 

“I have this theory that if one person can go out of their way to show compassion, then it will start a chain reaction of the same. People will never know how far a little kindness can go.”~Rachel Joy Scott  (1981-1999) 

Student & 1st Victim Of The Columbine High School Massacre

Originally, I was going to write about my daughter getting ready to go off to college, Thursday night changed all that. I would be remiss if I didn't acknowledge the horrific crime that took place the other night, in a town just outside of Denver. The town was that of Aurora, Colorado; which ironically was rated as the ninth safest city in America by Forbes magazine.  The story now, became quite the opposite, with the images fixed on our television screens, following an evening out to the movies. Sadly, twelve (12) people were killed and fifty-eight (58) others were wounded, some critically, the youngest victim is only 4 months old while tragically the youngest killed was only six years old.

During the midnight premiere of Dark Knight Rises, at a sold out show of one of the most anticipated blockbuster movies of the summer, tragedy struck this quiet suburb. Authorities say the alleged gunman, James Holmes, had attended the movie with enough armor to help him in his planned attack. He had fortified himself with enough Kevlar and tactical body armament to protect is own life, while he mercilessly took the lives of innocent others.  We may never know, nor understand what was going on within the mind of this allegedly quiet, bright young man, who now will not be known for whatever good he might have achieved in his life, had he not seemingly become insane. Rather his name now will be synonymous with evil, having masterminded and executing one of the most heinous massacres in current US history.

This is not the first time that a gunman has shaken this country to its' core. We, as a society, have become not so much shocked, but more-so curious with violence in our culture. I find it surprising that all of this occurred in the same state where the infamous and equally tragic Columbine school shootings took place . What gave me cause for alarm, was that even though a massacre of mass proportions, had happened just over a decade ago, gun control laws are still lax in the state of Colorado. Thirteen years ago, when we collectively witnessed the horrors of gun violence, massacres are still happening, all over the country and still we talk about gun control. Talk, but no solution.

To prove that we have become indifferent to violence in our society, and have gotten somewhat apathetic, is the simple fact that there were young children present at this movie premiere. Now please, do not misunderstand and mistake this comment as a criticism of the victims from this horror, but what are we doing taking young children to a mature and highly violent film at midnight?

Here is another shocker, up until a few months ago; when Ted Nugent made his highly controversial comments regarding the current sitting President, I was an active member of the NRA. I am a legal gun owner, and had fully believed in the right to bear arms. What I do not support is the need for people to own semi-automatic weapons, or amass a stash of weapons without raising alarm bells. Like all things in this world, we need to regulate gun ownership and the sales of guns.

James Holmes, age 24 and a former graduate student working on his Doctorate in neuroscience until a few months ago, was headed in a completely different direction. Yet, in just a few months began to seemingly become unraveled. Dropping out of his graduate program, and began to set the stage and compile a gun collection and ammunition  amounting to more than 6,000 rounds. Had we stopped the empty talks, but had actually taken some sort of action, perhaps someone might have taken notice that someone was stockpiling enough weapons, not to forage on a duck hunt. There are few ways to currently keep track of those who are doing the same, and believe me, James Holmes is not the only one nor dismally, with the lack of gun control will he be the last.

The disinterest we place on the need for gun control, will only lead to more gun violence, and more massacres.

Map Depicting Statistical Data of Gun Violence in America

When our forefathers included the "Right to bear arms", it was given at a time when life was different. It was written at a time when settlers to the new land were fighting with the Natives of this land, when we had just emerged from a war with England, and fighting with the French in order to access more land. These factors were in play, when the decision was made, but we live in a different time, and like all things of history it is time for a change.

Perhaps, this tragedy, with the loss of so many innocent lives, this time we will together take a stand, and instead of talk, actually take action to help prevent further senseless deaths of human lives facing the barrel of a gun. In case you are in need of a few facts* to help stimulate you into putting pressure on the powers that be.

• While gun crime is down in the vast majority of states, it is up in New York, Virginia, New Jersey, Mississippi, Missouri, Arizona, Delaware, New Hampshire, Massachusetts, North Dakota, Connecticut and several of the smaller states.
•  If you look at the firearms murder rate per 100,000 people, District of Columbia comes out top - with 16 firearms murders per 100,000 man, woman and child in the state. There were 99 firearms murders in DC in 2010, down 12% on 2009
•  In the beginning of 2011 the shooting spree in Tucson, Arizona, that targeted congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords left six dead, including a nine-year-old child. But since then, the issue has been given scant attention.
• The summer of 2012 in Chicago during the Memorial Day weekend 55 people were shot, a few months later in the city of New York, 77 people were victims of gun violence over the course of less then one week
•  The rate of death from firearms in the United States is eight times higher than that in its economic counterparts in other parts of the world.
• The overall firearm-related death rate among U.S. children younger than 15 years of age is nearly 12 times higher than among children in 25 other industrialized countries combined. 

*Statistics provided by FBI, CDC and The Brady Campaign

So while the numbers may be down, they are still too high. Do we need them to climb back up again before we start doing something?

Lastly, amidst the chaos and horrors of Thursday night, there were heroes. Young men protecting women, and children with their own bodies, some suffering wounds, some giving the ultimate sacrifice; their own lives to shelter another from the shooter.  I was most impressed by one young man in particular. The young man is Jarrell Brooks, 19 years of age, who was prepared to leave when the mayhem erupted, stopped when he heard a young woman scream "MY KIDS!". Risking his own life, he leaped into action, making the bold and brave decision to come to her aid. He managed to lead her and the children to safety, suffering gun shot wounds to his leg. When asked how he felt, this amazing young man said the following words; "I forgive James Holmes for shooting me, because it is more bold to forgive than to hate."

Let us take a cue from this incredible man, wise beyond his years. Find forgiveness for this madness, and be bold, as I stated in the beginning of this entry; we may never know or understand the type of sickness that festered in the mind of James Homes. How can we understand the mindset of a man that booby-trapped his own home with explosives, and waited for the theater to be packed, and begin a rampage on all who were present. Our boldness is to find a solution to prevent this from ever happening again to our neighbors.


No quotes tonight, just a thought. Have we become so adjusted to the sight of violence, we no longer have the will or fortitude to garner our own heroism to put an end to it?

Game,... Set,...Match!

I have been a sports nut for as long as I can remember. Perhaps it had to do with the fact that I grew up in New York, the city of true sports fanatics, or perhaps because I was an athlete in my younger days. It could also be that I just never left my tomboy years behind; my father having had no sons, made me the designated "boy" and sports was how we bonded. Regardless of why, I LOVE sports. 

There was a time when a woman, such as myself was thought to be a rarity, but thanks to women like Alyssa Milano, we are coming out of the closet. She opened the doors to the life of a female fan in her 2009 book on her love of baseball, Safe At Home: Confessions of a Baseball Fanatic. This gave her a leap forward using her business acumen, and launching a fan clothing line for women. 

I enjoy football, soccer, basketball, baseball, track and field, golf and tennis. Now here is why I am excited. Wimbledon 2012 just ended. For me the finale took place on Saturday, on one of the courts, Serena Williams took the glory, defeating her opponent and winning her fifth Wimbledon Championship. She is the first woman over 30, to win a Grand Slam tournament since Martina Navratilova.

Today, she is a tennis media darling, smashing records, getting ready to break more I am certain. I can remember when her professional career, alongside with her sister Venus, began back in the late 90's. At that time she was critiqued extensively for the guttural yell with her power serves, and the sounds of her hair beads made when playing. The Williams sisters were not warmly embraced by the tennis world when they began to make their mark. Comments ranged from disparaging remarks regarding their outfits, or whether or not they had the ability to last in the game, creating a professional tennis career. Looking back now, it is hard to imagine that they were once viewed as a FLASH IN THE PAN. Recently, well respected tennis player; John McEnroe, was quoted as to having called Serena Williams one of the best tennis players he has ever seen. 

Let me list a few facts of Ms Williams; all are noteworthy ones.

• Today Serena is the only female player to have won over $35 million in prize money.
• She has 29 Grand Slam titles : 14 in singles, 13 in women's doubles, and 2 in mixed doubles. 
• She is the most recent player, male or female, to have held all four Grand Slam singles titles simultaneously and only the fifth woman ever to do so. 
• She was also the first woman, along with older sister Venus Williams, to hold all four Grand Slam doubles titles simultaneously since Martina Hingis. 
• Her 14 Grand Slam singles titles is sixth on the all-time list.
• Williams ranks fourth in Grand Slam women's singles titles won during the open era, behind Steffi Graff, Chris Evert and Martina Navratilova.
• Among active players, male or female, she holds the most Major titles in singles, doubles, and mixed doubles. 

Not bad for a girl from Compton. Both Williams sisters have amazed and dominated the court, having the top two recorded fastest serves. Venus at 129mph and Serena's record just behind big sister with a recorded 128mph. It has been a long time since a woman of African descent has graced the courts, winning during the open era. The first being Althea Gibson in 1956, referred to as the "Jackie Robinson" of tennis, paving the way for Zina Garrison, and the Williams sisters. 

With merely a few weeks off, Serena will be back at it again going for the gold in the 2012 Olympics in London, accompanied by her equally talented sister Venus. They will be heading off the USA team in this year summer games. This has all come under a difficult two years, for the sisters health wise. Serena has recently recovered from surgery, and a blood clot in her lungs. Venus has been battling Sjogren's Syndrome. a rare auto immune disease. Still these unstoppable women continue to aspire; as well as inspire. They may lose at times, but, whenever they hit the courts I smile. My smile not just for their accomplishments, but for the indelible mark they have left in a sport, once thought only for the privileged and white. 

There is now a insurgence of other women of color climbing up the ranks, inspired most likely from seeing what the Williams sisters have been able to accomplish, demolishing a glass ceiling in a sport that once upon a time, Blacks were not even permitted to compete in.

To those who continue to make their mark I want to mention their names as well; Chanda Rubin, Dally Randriantefy, Jewel Peterson, Stephanie Foretz, Angela Haynes, Shenay Perry, Megan Moulton-Levy, Milagros Sequera, Ahsha Rolle, Alexandra Stevenson, Mashona Washington, Jamea Jackson, Raquel Kops-Jones, Jennifer Elie, Sloane Stephens, Asia Muhammed, Danielle Mills, Chloe Babet, Tiya Rolle, and Brittany Augustine. 

Before her death, Althea Gibson, then 74-years old, was again caught up in the emotional tumult of another major tennis event with the semifinal victories by Venus and Serena Williams in the United States Open. She then said to her friend the following words;

"I would like to congratulate the Williams family for accomplishing this historic achievement, two family members and two sisters who have become two of the greatest tennis athletes in the world."

Yes, I love sports, but what I love more is watching these amazing athletes continue to pave the way for young Black women. Allowing my daughters to look up and see the possibilities of creating opportunities, where once there was none.          

As always, I end this with a quote; but first a thought. Athleticism begins with one, whether it is a competitive team sport or solo play. It is the individual athlete that goes out and finds their limits and pushes through them. It is not always done for the glory or the medals, but to prove to oneself their own possibility.  To seek beyond what they know they can already accomplish, but rather to find what they thought would be challenging, to meet full force and to accomplish.

"Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records. "~William Arthur Ward

Happy Birthday America!

 

Happy Birthday America!

I am a second generation American (often commonly miscalled a 1st generation). What this means is I am the first of my immediate family born here in the states. My family, not much different from yours, came from another land and made this one HOME. The uniqueness of this great land of ours, is we are truly a country of immigrants. My family did not flee in boats, escaped poverty, or famine. Ours was a migration due to the political faction that was suppressing the majority of its population, (a majority of which were poor) and completely at odds with my family, for having dared to be outspoken.

Mine was a family of affluence, wealth, they were educated and world travelers; in their homeland. They chose to abandon their lives, belongings and status to start over. It had not been an easy task, leaving what they had always known, taking a chance in a new land, with a different culture. For political reasons my family did not immediately enter the US, it took some time to get them all here, but once here, they made a new home for themselves. No longer affluent, no longer entertaining dignitaries or being a part of the elite, still here they knew they could forge a new home and new lives.

Eventually, they made good lives for themselves. I still cannot fathom having to leave my home and having to start my life all over again, in a new land with a new culture. Trying to assimilate and restart my entire life. Those in my family; my grandparents, aunt and uncles, are my heroes. They chose to make a new life in a country where freedom flourished. In this country they knew there were endless possibilities not only for themselves, but for the next generation that would come to know this country as home. 

A few of my uncles, young men at the time that they immigrated, served in the military. We, the generation that they had hopes for, went on to succeed in many ways, unforeseen I am sure; although greatly hoped for; with careers and children of our own; living lives with the same values of family, pride and seeking education. Most of all we beam with pride that we are all Americans. A land where our voices can be heard, even if at times it seems that some representatives do not hear us, we have an opportunity to speak our minds without repercussion. 

Recently, when asking my mother how was her life in a country so different here versus there, where her family name held such honor; her response surprised me. She told me that there were scenes from an old Jack Lemmon movie "Missing" ; that very much reminded her of her own past when the family had to flee from danger or attempted assignations, capture or prison.  

I used to think we were fortunate, that while others were born here for generations, I grew up with a greater appreciation for the freedoms guaranteed to its citizens. My family CHOSE to make this home, and home it is. I am (to quote a song) proud to be an American. 

No things aren't perfect here, there is always room for improvement, but here at least I know we can make changes when necessary.  We have come a long way from the first wave of immigrants, our founding fathers. 

So God bless you America, and Happy Birthday to you. While we will toast this birthday with fireworks and BBQ's, know that we all are grateful for the freedoms we have been granted and to the men and women that ensure that those freedoms stay intact. 

How Women Shaped My Life, including Nora Ephron

"Note: This blog entry means much to me. It is dedicated to filmmaker Nora Ephron, who sadly passed away on Tuesday June 26th. I wanted to make certain that my words not only expressed my thoughts of her and her work, but how she was one of the women who helped direct my path in the writing world. As always, I thank you for taking the time to read. To Ms. Ephron and her family, my deepest sympathy to you. She was a remarkable woman and her light will be missed."

Nora Ephron (May 19, 1941 – June 26, 2012)

I know that I have stated before that my "burgeoning" writing career at one time consisted of doing the copy for the obituary section of a newspaper. The irony is that the paper is now gone, with people using the internet for its news source it became a casualty of technology. I suppose I could have written their obituary as well.  My exposure to writing the synopsis of the lives of the deceased had allowed me to craft my skill. It taught me how to be expressive of the people I wrote of, people I never met, for families I never knew.  It turned out that this gave me a classroom of sorts, for character building. Grateful though I am for the experience, times like these I feel as though it is a repetitive routine when writing a tribute following the death of someone famous, especially when they unknowingly had an impact on my life.

My love for writing began shortly after my love of books developed. I can remember that I had little interest in reading when I was young, my parents read books to me every night, but honestly, I thought they were just telling tales to make me go to sleep. Then a school crossing guard gave me a book to read over the weekend, and told me to tell her what I thought about it on Monday. The book was Little Women by Louisa May Alcott and I was hooked. Over the next week I read the entire book and returned it to Mrs "B". She had another book for me, Anne of Green Gables, thus began my love affair. Before I knew it, I had developed an insatiable appetite for books and words.   

Then came English class in junior high, with Miss Lipton. Her excitement about literature was infectious.  I couldn't wait for third period, she introduced me to sonnets, poetry and William Shakespeare. As my progression through my education continued, I was fortunate to have had some of the best teachers and influences in my life; opening doors to the literary world. The library became my second home, but now I wanted to create. In walks Mrs Lorianne Brooks, and her red pen and side notations. This teacher took the time to not just grade my papers, she made certain to tell me where I made my mistakes and how I could improve. I took them to heart, and hope that she knows she truly made a difference.

The string that ties this all together is what happened to me a few years ago when I happened to be visiting my grandmother on the Upper West Side of New York City. After finishing the running morning errands with her, I decided to take a walk in my beloved city. Now if you are unfamiliar with this city this may seem odd, but in Manhattan we see stars everywhere, some of us are too busy to acknowledge them, others gawk. On this particular day I saw Nora Ephron, and I was as the Brits say "Gobsmacked!' She was sitting in a cafe, I imagine waiting for a friend. I summoned the courage and began to babble of how I admire her work, how her book and movie Heartburn saved me when I was going through my divorce and then apologized for interrupting her thanking her for listening to me prattle on. She was gracious, and told me thank you. She asked me what I did for work, and told her how I had a small column in a fledgling paper, but my dream was to write. She told me; "Then write! You will never know if you don't and living with regret will only make you wish you tried." Here is the proverbial bow from the string that tied these strong, passionate women, who all had wit and helped shaped me, tying them together. 

Today I write, with some published poetry under my belt. Still passionate about words and their power. Nurtured by women who walked in my life, some in classrooms, some in books and movies. My hope is only that one day I too will be an influence in the lives of other women aspiring to write.

Admittedly this blog entry was inspired upon learning of the death of Nora Ephron. She truly was a woman to be reckoned with. A feminist, not only making it in a man's world of Hollywood films and story telling, but creating female characters with depth, that were not only relate able, but ones that made us cheer for them, even with their flaws. They were human, they were real, and for me best of all they were vulnerable yet strong. I was too young to appreciate Heartburn when it first was published, but came across it in the midst of my divorce. Like many others, I was delighted when I saw her work on film. Laughing incessantly at the witty lines exchanged between the characters. Films that have been given the label of "chick flicks", that in retrospect are more of couple flicks. She had an insight into the human condition when it came to matters of the heart. Finally romantic movies were no longer about a Prince riding in on a white horse rescuing a damsel in distress, it was about foolish choices, miscommunication, angst, and awkwardness, in other words it was real life.


I have to admit that my affection for Nora Ephron also came from a commonalty we shared. Not just that of women who married more than once, being betrayed by our choices. Our connection was forged within a city, the city of New York. In the majority of her movies you could feel her love affair with Manhattan, from the scenery, to the iconic structures that often played as important a role as the characters she wrote of. 


No, I will never forget Ms. Ephron, although I am certain that I was just another one of her many fans on that afternoon in a street-side cafe. Fortunately, we will have her many works to remember her. A legacy that will live in Harry and Sally, Sam, Annie and Jonah, Kathleen and Joe, and most recently Julie and Julia. Rest in peace Ms. Nora Ephron, and thank you for giving a young woman words of wisdom that forever changed my world.

Before I conclude, I want to add a comment from Meryl Streep, a good friend of Nora Ephron, who starred in her films Heartburn and most recently Julie & Julia. Upon learning the news of her friend's death Ms Streep said; "She was a true trailblazer, Nora Ephron leaves behind a legacy of always knowing the right (and wittiest) thing to say. She was "an expert" in all the departments of living well."

Now you know I can't end an entry without a few quotes; so why not the ones from the woman who made words dance off of a page and capture our hearts.

"To state the obvious, romantic comedies have to be funny and they have to be romantic. But one of the most important things, for me anyway, is that they be about two strong people finding their way to love."~Nora Ephron

"I try to write parts for women that are as complicated and interesting as women actually are."~Nora Ephron

"Reading is one of the main things I do. Reading is everything. Reading makes me feel I've accomplished something, learned something, become a better person. Reading makes me smarter."~Nora Ephron