Lessons learned

Everyone has a story or two in them, I happen to be one with enough to fill many volumes. I have been fortunate enough to have truly lived my life. I was able to travel the world when I was younger, go places on a whim. I think the reason why I crammed so much into my life was because I always had the feeling that it would be short lived. Not that I was some kind of melancholy sort, but always had this sense to enjoy things while I could. Sad thing is that it turned out to a certain degree I was right. I have been living with Multiple Sclerosis for the past 8 years, and it has not been a happy chapter in my life, survivable yes and without question it has taught me some additional valuable lessons.

To begin with I learned that I am a force to be reckoned with. I knew I was strong, but to truly test my inner strength and fortitude had never been put to the test more than when I received my diagnosis. I also learned to appreciate the life that I had lived and would continue to live. No regrets, just lessons along the pathway to help mold my adult years, to one where I can find comfort with myself. I need not surround myself with people to validate who I am.  I learned that family is great, when you have a good one to fall back on, thank goodness I do. 

My life has been an adventure, and although when I was young there were times, upon reflection, where I seemed to have tried to derail it.  Youth and it's ignorance, I suppose, but I  know now a lot of my early decisions were fear based. This theme of fear, whatever the fear may have been from, fueled some of my dumbest moves.  If I could go back I would tell my younger me to enjoy and trust in life more and not be in a rush or so scared.

Now why am I sharing this mini biopic about my life you are wondering? It is my intro to this poetry I had written, not just for me, but for my girlfriends. I had learned the lesson that is in my poetry already, but wanted them to have something tangible to help serve as a reminder, perhaps to be a reminder for me as well. I am grateful I am wiser and older now, but to the me of yesteryear, we did okay kid and thanks for the ride. So thank you for dealing with my long winded intro, but I now present to you a piece of poetry from my past.

GOOD-BYE

YOU DON'T NEED ME

YOU HAVE SOMEONE ALREADY

YOU DIDN'T NEED TO STEP TO ME

WHISPERING TO ME DEEP INTO THE NIGHT

TELLING ME WORDS YOU KNOW

I LONG TO HEAR

MAKING ALL OF YOUR LIES SEEM SO REAL

BUT THIS IS THE TRUTH

AS PAINFUL AS IT MAY BE

YOU HAVE SOMEONE ALREADY YOU DON'T NEED ME

YOU PROMISED HER YOU HEART

YOU ARE HER MAN

WITH HER YOU SHARE A LIFE

SHE IS YOUR WOMAN

SHE IS YOUR WIFE

SO WHERE AM I IN THIS EQUATION

I AM NUMBER TWO, THREE OR FOUR

DEPENDING ON YOUR TIME

OR THE DAY OF THE WEEK

I AM BUT THE EXCUSE

THE REASON WHY YOU WORKED LATE

THE TIME YOU STAYED OUT WITH YOUR BOYS

I AM YOUR GIRL ON THE SIDE

I AM THAT BOOTY THAT IS ALWAYS ON CALL

WHAT IS WORSE, I BECAME YOUR FOOL

AND WHO ARE YOU TO ME

NO ONE ANYMORE

TOOK ME A MINUTE TO WAKE UP

FROM THIS DREAM THAT YOU WOVE FOR ME

MADE UP OF SO MANY UNTRUTHS

DECEIT, BROKEN PROMISES, LIE

ON TOP OF LIE

THIS REALITY CHECK IS WHAT 

I NEEDED TO FINALLY BREAK FREE

TO REMEMBER THAT I DESERVE MORE

TO REMEMBER MY WORTH

TO BE SOMEONE'S NUMBER ONE

AS HE WOULD BE FOR ME

SO GO BACK HOME AND KISS YOUR WIFE

SAY GOOD-BYE TO ME

SAY GOOD-BYE TO THE MYTH 

THAT ONCE WAS US

I REMEMBERED, IN CASE YOU FORGOT

YOU DON'T NEED ME

YOU HAVE SOMEONE ALREADY

AND I WILL JUST WAVE GOOD-BYE 

AS YOUR ASS WALKS OUT THE DOOR