Heroes from the Shadows

"Child abuse casts a shadow the length of a lifetime."
 ~Herbert Ward

How I would have been delighted to write a raving entry, celebrating the milestones of my children's lives, both recently graduating. One from high school about to move onto a new chapter of her life without me, no longer standing right besides her and directing her which way to go. The other finishing Pre-K, just beginning her journey into life. I would be lying if I didn't say I have some trepidation associated with both of these milestones, but sadly tonight is not a night for rejoicing.

For the past few months we, collectively, have been polarized by the news of what occurred with a former Penn State University football Assistant Coach; Jerry Sandusky. Back on November 4th of 2011, the world of college football was rocked with the indictment of this former Assistant Coach of the Year, on multiple counts of child molestation of young boys. By December of that same year additional boys (now young men) came forward, increasing the counts to 48. Prior to his trial, Mr Sandusky went on an interview spree, essentially nailing his own coffin. In what will be forever seared in our memory was his interview with NBC's Bob Costas, (see full interview below), where upon being asked the question if he (Sandusky) was sexually attracted to young boys. His answer left us all unsettled, with a long pause followed by his most infamous response of; "Sexually attracted, you know, I enjoy young people. I love to be around them. But no I'm not sexually attracted to young boys."

The fall from grace did not only extend to Jerry Sandusky, but to former college football Coach Hall of Famer Joe Paterno and Penn State University as well.  The Nittany Lions had a new moniker to hold onto, and it was not a good one. The further the investigation went into these allegations and continued, more was coming out. It became knowledge that as far back as 1998 he had been under investigation when a mother went to the Police department, filing a report that her son had been inappropriately touched by Jerry Sandusky. Further reports of a janitor having witnessed the oral copulation being performed by Sandusky on an underage child. To continue, the witnessing of Sandusky by another Assistant Mike McQueary, raping a young boy in the locker room shower. All egregious acts, and all seemingly swept under the rug for years.

To further emphasize the monstrous acts of this then accused pedophile, his own adopted son, Matt Sandusky came out with a statement last week, making a claim that he too was a victim of abuse at the hands of his father. His comments have been mitigated by the defense team, to that of an emotionally unstable man.

The trial took place with the standard television news media analyzing every motion, remark and witness statements, taking place in the courtroom. The testimony of eight of the ten accusers was presented by the prosecutors, bringing many in the courtroom to tears. Finally, on Friday a verdict. GUILTY on 44 of the 48 counts brought against him. Although justice has been finally granted to these incredibly courageous young men, we are left with many unanswered questions. Some of us still in shock, in the aftermath of the horrors one man brought to so many. Some of these questions may never be answered, or even answered to our satisfaction. Why didn't Mike McQueary do something to stop what he was hearing? Why did the janitor not flip out at what he saw? Why did the officials at Penn State let this occur, with minor disciplinary actions? Why was it ok for Joe Paterno upon hearing all that he had not gone to the police himself and demand Sandusky's resignation?

One of the greatest injustices we created, while in effort to protect our children; was "Stranger Danger". By making the "Boogie-Man" the focus of the danger to children, we unwittingly made our children more vulnerable to predators like Sandusky. We warned them about the stranger in the park, the man with the candy, or the seemingly nice guy looking for his lost puppy, but never warned them about their coaches or mentors. It almost never even dawned on us to look at the neighbor down the block hosting summer BBQ's, the uncle or family friend as possible predators. According to the FBI profilers; familiar pedophiles groom children to gain their trust, making it easier to gain access and finally achieve their end goal of making victims of these children. A pattern that is exemplified by Sandusky's own demeanor. His involvement through a mentoring program of The Second Mile, for young children in trouble. To look at him (Sandusky) one could say he appeared like anyone's kindly old grandfather; truly a wolf in sheep's clothing.

What I can recall most about these events is the uproar that took place on the campus of Penn State in the Fall of 2011. Students joined in protesting against the demand of Joe Paterno's resignation. A few athletes stood up in defense of Sandusky, claiming that this was all motivated by money. As a mother, I was outraged! Not at the claims, but at the systematic failure to protect those who were so wronged. The excuses of "I didn't know what to do" or 'the situation was pushed up the ladder for discipline". Here is the reality check, time and time again a monster was given access to children. When he was caught, people turned their heads and kept passing the buck, as long as the football program of one of the biggest NCAA Big 10 Conference league was left out of it. This is unforgivable. When a child is molested or abused in any way, you forever change who they were meant to be.

We focused on who we believed the man known as Jerry Sandusky to be. A family man, the leader of an at risk group for young boys, one of the best defensive coaches colleges had ever seen. He had been celebrated as an Adoption Father of the Year,  What we saw was what he wanted us to see. In truth he was a rapist, a master manipulator and the man responsible for destroying the lives of countless young men.

Crimes against children are the most horrific. They are innocent, defenseless and depend on the adults in their lives to protect them. These are the crimes we should be shouting at the top of our lungs across rooftops "ENOUGH!" and help create laws that can uniformly protect them across the board regardless of the state. It is our responsibility as a society to protect those unable to protect themselves. In the wake of the indescribable damage that Jerry Sandusky caused, let there be some enlightenment come through the darkness. It is time that we shine a light on those who lurk in the shadows of these children's' nightmares. We must put an end to these crimes against the most vulnerable of our society, our children.

Finally, I want to address the young men who came forward; you are the bravest of men. The evil you faced and survived cannot be healed with an "I'm sorry" or "Guilty" or even with a monetary award, but know that you gave a voice to the voiceless. Most of all, you gave a voice to your younger selves that were not able to stop the madness. It was never your fault, and you are not victims, you are survivors who are my champions. Thank you for telling your truth, no matter how hard it was to do, you are strong. Always remember that!

Tonight I leave you with a thought of what courage is; because the young men who came forward and their families are courageous heroes.

"I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear." ~Nelson Mandela

From My First Love,...To My Last

For Father's Day I thought about the importance of a fathers role in their children's lives. I have been blessed with having two wonderful parents, but this being Father's Day, I reflected on my own dad and what he means to me. Growing up, my family life was very much like that of the Huxtables from The Cosby show. Shorty after the show had begun airing in the 1980's I moved away from home, but thanks to Bill Cosby I was able to "visit" home every Thursday night. My father, like the character of Dr Huxtable, was a professional, and his family was the center of his world. He never failed to have words of wisdom for his children, which is very much like my own father. While other Americans seemed to find the scenario of such a Black family existing, I had only known this to be my reality.,When watching sporting events, you always hear the star players shouting out love to their mothers. Today I am going to shout out my father in this open letter.

                   

Dear Papa,

I know that I already have told you that I love you, but I am not certain you are quite aware as to what an impact you have had on my life. Like most "Daddy's Girls", you were my hero, my superman and the one man I could always count on. Thanks to you I grew up to be the woman that I am today. 

You taught me virtue, integrity, love and gave me self worth. When I was little I was fascinated with everything you did. I remember how I wanted to be with you wherever you went and couldn't wait for you to come home from work.

I can also remember how you took the time to talk to me when I was getting into trouble, or the all too important talk you gave me about boys. What's more, I remember how you love my mom, then and now. Thanks to your devotion, respect and adoration of my mother, I knew what I didn't want in a spouse.

I can recall you taking me to the Girls Scouts Father/Daughter Dance, creating the first of many of our "dates". When I needed you to help direct me in the right direction, you were right there, without prompting, doing your due diligence of rearing me. Even when I stumbled, you held me to a higher standard forcing me to push myself and achieve my goals. 

Your love for my mother has always been one that grounded me. It help provide me with that safe place to fall, knowing that there was security in your union, I always felt safe.  The example of how a man should treat a woman he loves, how a man should be as a father, a provider and a friend were given to me by you, and how you live. This is what led me to the abundance of happiness I have now in my own marriage. 

For this and so many more reasons I want to say; "Thank you Papa!". Thank you for being exemplary as a father and a man, so that I had a blueprint to seek out one just like you. You were (and are) my first love, and led me to my last.

I will forever be your little girl, and you will forever be the man I hold up as the measuring stick. Not just for myself, but for my daughters, so they too can find a man just like you one day to share their lives with.

Simply put, I love you.

Your first born        

Not So Happy Anniversary

The other day I had an anniversary. Before you get all congratulatory, DON'T, it was the anniversary of my diagnosis. One thing is certain, there is not an MS patient that I know of that does not remember their diagnosis date. It is the day every thing changed. So in honor of all that I lost, I wrote this poem. I have a determined spirit, but even super heroes can get tired of the fight. 

No quotes tonight. Just my poetry. 

As always, comments are welcomed, and appreciated.

RUNNING

I can still remember the way the wind felt

when it blew against my face as I ran

Ran as fast as I could

Ran for sport

Ran for the sheer pleasure

I would run up stairs

I would run down stairs

I ran from here 

to over there

then back again

I can remember being tired from a run

I can remember being invigorated from a run

I remember when I could feel my muscles flex

Each neuron firing telling my legs how to move

Just so I could run

Run

Run

Run

Running as a child for play

Running as a teen to show off

Running as a mom to keep up with a little one

I would run in the morning

An early morning run

When the grass had some dew 

and the sun was just cresting in the sky

Announcing that day had begun

I loved those runs

Just me, my thoughts and the scenery

Running cleared my mind

I would run in the evening

A long relaxing run

When the sun was setting 

and just kissing the sky goodnight 

Telling me day was done

My troubles were left on the pavement 

With each pounding step

As my calf muscles would push off the ground

My quads giving me incredible arc 

So I could leap as I ran

I didn't just run

I flew

Then it STOPPED

That was MS

I still run

I run through fields and meadows

I run in the streets

I run on the track

I even ran across the globe

Difference is I run only in my dreams

Where my memories of cool breezes

Gently blowing on my face still live

Where I still find peace 

Until I awake

 

Social Interactions

Since I have been on Twitter, another part of the world has opened up to me. I am used to interacting on the internet. My first social media experience happened back in 1993. My then husband had bought a new PC for the household, and there it was, a dial up modem and PRODIGY. I found my way into a chatroom and being ever the social butterfly I jumped right into the conversation. It was different to "talk" via text, eventually I became a pro and moved to  the newer social media access, AOL. This time I was going through a divorce, was a new mother and had a lot of solitude, since in my infinite wisdom had agreed (while I was married), to move to the woods of New York. I was  away from my family and civilization; also known as New York City.

AOL provided me a place to escape, and discover myself. I found supporting people and made actual friends in a chatroom known as Ebony Over Thirty (more affectionately known as EO30). I changed careers because of my exposure to the internet and my interactions on it. I returned to school to become a web designer and programmer.  I was able to make a good living at this new career, my kid was doing well, and I just purchased a new town home. Life was GRAND! Then things changed, drastically. As I previously discussed in a blog entry; 10 Things I Learned About Myself, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.  Funny though, as much of a chatroom personality I was, when first diagnosed I retreated away from the internet. I withdrew and told myself I had to focus on my illness. 

The reality was I didn't want to be reminded of all the things I would no longer be doing. The distance between me and the "net" didn't last long. It was on the internet I met my new husband. Then the ever changing internet had new avenues for me to explore. Like the millions of others, I joined Facebook. Suddenly people I hadn't spoken with since high school, college, and even a few from camp reunited with me. Mind you, the only reason I joined was due to family pressure; so they could see pictures of my children. Before you knew it I became a Facebook status junkie, chatting, and once again rejoining my old chatroom buddies of EO30. I was able to "like" things, and get poked, but, like most everything the novelty wore off. Then came Twitter.

What made my experience with Twitter so different from the others is I was able to establish my own social circle. Following those with similar tastes, hobbies and or interests. I began writing this blog and when I post, share it on Facebook and Twitter. One day I tweeted about my MS. What this simple 140 character mention did, was allow me to meet others like me, people with MS. Under normal circumstances, I would not seek out MS support groups, or those with the illness. I meet people everyday who tell me they have a family member, friend or know of someone that "suffers" from this disease.  Occasionally, I meet other people who have it as well. Each time a part of me has that kindred sigh of welcome to the club, sucks to be a member feeling come over me. Thanks to the internet I can speak with those who can truly relate to my situation.  The truth is I am grateful for the internet, for allowing me and more importantly giving me a place to learn and grow. 

Imagine my dismay, when yesterday after I logged on this incredible tool; that allows us all to see the world isn't so big, but rather small when you make connections; I witnessed bullying. Seriously? This is what we have decided makes great use of our time?  Yesterday afternoon, Sherri Shepherd Comedienne/Actress and Co-Host of ABC's The View received vile threats on Twitter. I saw this happening since I happened to follow her. I was disgusted by what was being said to her. It dawned on me that maybe we need a new App for access to the net. If you want access, maybe you should need to take a psychological exam first. This way we can weed out the drama prone. I know it's a bit drastic, but when I hear of children bullying other children with the internet so much so that there is a name for it; Cyber Bullying, one has to wonder if irrational measures should be taken.  The crass idiot who was threatening Ms Shepherd, told her he was merely exercising his right of free speech. This is not so, Free Speech is when you disagree with something or someone or have a thought or idea and express it. These do not include "I hope you get raped" or "Die". That line of thinking is threatening, as well as vile. I am not an advocate for policing the written word, but somehow we need to educate people on how to behave when on the net, and find a way to make such behaviors unacceptable. At least enough to deter this from happening as often as it does.

I have to say the internet has given me a lot. When my physical body became weak and unable to travel the world as it once had, it was still available to me through cyberspace. When I had felt lonely, there were friends, old and new, accessible through this medium. The internet has come a long way since the days of logging on with a dial-up modem. Social media has become the way we communicate with one another. Today not only on our computers, but it is accessible on our phones, televisions, hand held devices and video game consoles. The majority of people are getting their news over the internet. I have seen the creations of sites such as YouTube, Instagram and many others become second nature in a search. Corporations are also taking advantage and joining in with creating pages and accounts on the most popular social media venues. Maybe technology has finally surpassed our society and we need new rules, but I think the problem is simpler than that, one that we all have thought or said not giving much credence to it. This wonderful place and new way of communicating has eroded the ability to truly speak with one another. Maybe we spend so much time speaking in shorthand and living our lives anonymously, we have forgotten how to talk and to listen. If there was no anonymity on the net I suspect a lot of the crude, crass and bullying talk would come to an end. 

This blog ends with one quote and one thought;

“If you bully somebody face to face, and they get upset, you see them cry and be hurt. When it's over the Internet, you can't see the emotional reaction and go along thinking it's no big deal."~ Robin Kowalski

It takes a coward to be vile and vicious with no provocation.  You might feel big and bad when you attack someone with words, but in actuality you only expose yourself for the little person you feel that you are and your inadequacies. Find another outlet for your rage, get help, because at the rate of speed communication over the internet is changing, you may no longer be that faceless bully. When that happens I am willing to bet, you will become a victim yourself. with the rest of us pointing out your failings. Comments are welcomed!

Pants On Fire

"Liar, liar, pants on fire, 

Hanging by a telephone wire!"

  

Do you remember this chant from your childhood? Well, it seems that recently in the press, we are finding many who have forgotten as a rule; our society doesn't like liars. We have rules for it when you lie in court, lie on a resume or lie to the IRS.  Maybe they just need a refresher on the chant. I honestly wasn't going to say anything on the subject, when a certain liar came to the front of the line. Then another vied for the spot, I felt I had no choice but to discuss lying and liars.

So let's get this topic going. Mr. George Zimmerman, do I have to say more? This man already has enough to contend with in regards to Trayvon Martin's shooting death, but really when it's a question of your word being your only defense, wouldn't it behoove you to be truthful? No, not for Mr George Zimmerman, who, in collusion with his wife lied to the court about how much money was actually available to them. I knew he was lying when his attorney said the money donated to the website was not accessible to Mr Zimmerman or his family. I had a PayPal account, money is IMMEDIATELY available, it goes directly into your bank account. To quote Mr Benjamin Crump, attorney for Trayvon's parents; "This exposes Mr Zimmerman's lack of credibility and the statements he made that night of self defense." Personally, I do not believe it was his intention to shoot and kill an unarmed teen that night 15 weeks ago, but I do believe he lied to himself when he shot Trayvon. Lied about needing to use deadly force. Lied when he said Trayvon attacked him first. Lied when he claimed he followed Trayvon for no other reason, other than he was a Black kid in his neighborhood. Lying, is not a defense. 

Now to my all time favorite liar of the week; Donald Trump. I have to ask if Donald Trump is as ignorant as he plays on TV. Normally I can excuse his behavior as that of a circus barker, pandering to gain attention to promote his brand. This Birther issue that he keeps regurgitating about the President, is redundant of the ridiculousness of those who are racist in this country. I say this because never in the history of the American presidency has the issue of place of birth drew such question as that of Barack Obama. It can only be indicative of his race, because clearly a Harvard education, or having spent years in government office, is not drawing the negative attention. No one asked for the validity of John McCain's claim to run for office when he made his bid back in 2008. FYI he was born in Panama, granted it was allegedly on a Naval Base, but I suspect had this been President Obama, the legitimacy of his birth would have been brought even under more scrutiny, then it is now. Mind you the Republican Birther Conspiracists are the same ones that were looking into changing the law so that Arnold Schwarzenegger could have made a run for the highest office in the land. Mind you that was when he was the Republican darling, now that his marriage fell apart amidst the illegitimate child he conceived during said marriage, the love from the G.O.P. has gone by the wayside. Seems that the Republicans have a short memory, contrary to that of their mascot. 

What specifically that Trump has lied about is not knowing what is true and untrue, as he alleges about President Obama's own publisher making a claim that he was born in Kenya.(see video) Not true Donald, and you know it as well as I do. The statement was from a publicist, not publisher and they admittedly did not do any fact checking. So, if I give Mr Trump the benefit of the doubt, I can say he was confused with the word publisher and publicist, the two sound alike, but when he ends his statements with "People know me and know I am a smart guy". Well, I have to draw the line and call him what he is; a liar, no less then George Zimmerman. It is feasible to also conclude that Donald Trump is merely delusional, this is a man that for years has been sporting a comb-over, as if he is not going bald. Draw your own conclusions.

Perhaps in life we feel the need to tell lies. To our bosses when we call in sick, or loved ones when we tell them those jeans don't make them look fat; but lying is doing this country more harm then good. In case you all forgot here are a few lies that has gotten us to where we, as a nation, are today. I promise I will only go back a decade, any more and my blog will become another book. 

• The reason we went to war in Iraq; A LIE!
• Bernie Madoff's business acumen; A LIE!
• The financial institutions' (pick any failed bank or investment firm) solvency; ANOTHER LIE!

I believe that this utter lack of ethics is becoming a systemic problem in our society that we have, albeit begrudgingly, accepted as business as usual. There was  time when we valued truth. It was once said; "You are only as good as your word". Have we become so entangled in the web of lies being sold to us that we can no longer discern fact from fiction? Or is it simpler to say that we have become complacent when it comes to lying? This is why we should not be shocked at the SAT scandals of children cheating their way to college. Nor should we be dismayed at the rise of Identity thefts. so people can lie and pose as others, stealing their funds. 

As a mother, I try to teach my children the benefit of honesty and integrity, a job that is becoming increasingly difficult when my now college bound daughter can see for herself that the adults of this world have made their professions and fame through dishonesty.  Isn't it time we started telling the truth? Better yet, how about if we started demanding the truth. It is such a novel idea, I might dare say it may possibly work and lead us in a new direction. 

After all, it can't put us any worse then we already are.

So of course I have a few quotes on the subject for you all to digest;

“I have a higher and grander standard of principle than George Washington. He could not lie; I can, but I won't.” ― Mark Twain

“When truth is replaced by silence,the silence is a lie.” ― Yevgeny Yevtushenko

“Anger at lies lasts forever. Anger at truth can't last.” ― Greg Evans

 Video sited earlier;

Memorial Day

We have seem to have forgotten what this weekend is for. I see people hustling along the highway heading to the malls with coupons in hand, trying to get to that sale. People are getting the grills fired up, cracking open a few beers and having a festival unofficially ushering in summer. 

Amidst all the barbeques, picnics and pool parties; I hope that we all can remember that this day is meant for our veterans. In a nation where our military is based on an all volunteer basis, it is the least we can do. This means that every man and woman serving, doing the job of protecting our shores, investments and allies; made the decision to sacrifice their lives for ours. Think about that, not one was forced in, dragged in the middle of the night and slapped with a gun, they decided to be honorable and selfless for their country and in turn for each one of us. 

During this election year I have heard a lot of people (pundits, commentators and politicians) describe what America is, what we need or should do in our future. We are becoming separated into Blues and Reds, but on this one day, it is my fervent hope that we remember that we are the Red, White and Blue. The soldiers who have served do not care about our political affiliations, they care only for our nation. For years we pledged it in school "One nation under God", maybe we knew better then, then we do now.

Unfortunately, when our vets come home it is to a nation that has a struggling economy, many have returned with physical and emotional scars. It is our duty and responsibility to them to help provide the support they now need. For our soldiers still serving, we can send a care package or a note thank you. It isn't much to ask for. For those willing there is a great program you can volunteer with called Operation Gratitude. 

So on Sunday, we should give gratitude and say thanks to our vets, past, current and present.  On Monday we should take a moment to give a solemn prayer to the memories of all who served. Take the kids to a local parade in your town to show your support before lighting up the BBQ's or dipping your toe in the pool. However you decide to do it, remember this day is meant for something other than shopping and eating. For all those headstones in a cemetery of a fallen soldier, there is a son, a daughter, a father, a mother, a brother and or a sister; who is no longer here, because they gave up their lives so that we can enjoy the freedoms of this great nation.  There is nothing wrong with welcoming summer, but for one day, let us take a pause and tell a soldier you appreciate what they are doing, or have done. 

I know I usually give a quote to end my blog entries, but today I want to leave you with a few facts first. 

Memorial Day was originally known as Decoration Day and began at the end of the Civil War. The North and South had both decorated the graves of the fallen soldiers. The first official "Memorial Day" began in 1868, and was marked as a day to commemorate the soldiers who had died in the Union armies in the North and the Confederates of the South.  Marked with a parade and picnic at the gravesides. The tradition changed over the course of time, with what we now do in the twenty-first century, with parades on the last Monday of May.

and now for the quote; "Although no sculptured marble should rise to their memory, nor engraved stone bear record of their deeds, yet will their remembrance be as lasting as the land they honored." - Daniel Webster

Happy Memorial Day and thank you to those who served and still do, 

gallantly defending our shores.

 

The Latest Fad

I honestly am so out of the loop when it comes to this obsession that many women are having with this book, 50 Shades of Grey, but frankly I don't get it. I am not certain if it's because during my single years (we will have to visit there so not to drag the hubby in this), I enjoyed my sex life.   I am beginning to suspect that plenty of women have been repressed, and are finding an outlet with this piece of erotic literature. Thing is, this story is not new. There was The Story of O long before Christian Grey and Ms Steele and in between there was The Gift of Submission. 

Perhaps it is that we have come a long way from the days of women hiding their sexuality, but then again there was that book in the 1970's that had a similar reaction called Wifey by Judy Blume. So again I am stuck as to the fascination with E.L. James and her trilogy. 

I have heard this book called "Mommy Porn", and "Soccer Mom's Guide to BDSM", the subject matter has received a lot of criticism, mostly from men. Which got me to thinking, if the women I suspect are repressed, it is the men who are their counterpart that are boring in the bedroom and are the harshest critics. No offense to the men, but I am hearing pundits and psychologists discussing this book and the women buying it. Even Dr Drew Pinsky has harshly criticized this book, saying the following;

"It is actual violence against women. I have to tell you, this is the part maybe I'll get heat for, but there is a lot of violence against children in this country. There are various kinds of physical abuse. People subjected to those experiences are especially aroused by these images. I'm not saying the average women can't be, but it's especially arousing for them."

Now I am sure for a moment a lot of women are going to attempt some of these "hot" moves from Christian Grey in the bedroom, but ladies please remember somethings are best left to you imagination. There should have been a sticker on the book saying DO NOT ATTEMPT THIS ON YOUR OWN.  I do not agree with Dr Drew, this is a fictional work about what many believe is sexual deviant behavior. The story however is about a little more than this, and the BDSM aspect is arousing, and does not mean that women have rape fantasies they want acted out.

As for the book itself, I did not find the writing all that sophisticated, nor could really get into the protagonist, that is just me and my opinion. The sex scenes were steamy, but lacked some credibility in the Master/slave relationship in comparison to The Story of O or the Sweet Surrender Series (another piece of erotic lit to get you going). 

I think the reception to 50 Shades is what is garnering our attention at the moment, more than the quality of the work itself.  Like most fads, this too will pass until something else catches our eye. Until then I am sure that riding crops, whips and paddles will see a sudden surge in sales. Women will be a little more wicked in the bedroom, and mates will enjoy the ride (pun intended). 

Maybe though we should take this opportunity to exercise the demons that lie in repressing our sexuality, and take some time to discuss and discover our needs in the bedroom. The one thing that the themes to these books is the woman's submission. Perhaps we are getting tired of making all the decisions, initiating conversation and intimacy. Submission is something we long ago abandoned for women's lib. Maybe, just maybe we can relinquish some with the one person we should, our sexual partner, this is  possibly the greatest trust exercise any of us can practice. 

Either that, or we can continue to read erotic lit, eat some Haagen Daaz  and fantasize. 

No quotes tonight, just a question. Have you read this book? or the series?
Until next time... 

I am NOT a morning person

There are many reasons why I love having a blog. First and foremost I feel that my posts allow me to hone my writing skills. I have noticed that there is more fluidity when I begin to type,less noise and this clarity is transferring to my manuscript. Secondly, I can share some wisdom or wit with others, so far I have received a warm reception. Finally, if I am going to be honest, this space gives me a place to rant about things that bug me, things that also seem to bug you all as well. Today's blog is one of those days!


Let me preface this by stating I am NOT by any means a morning person. I am so certain of this fact, that I have made a policy (since I can remember) not to accept calls before 9:30 am or before I have had my first cup of coffee. I tend to be abusive to those that break this rule with the exception of my mother, sister and husband. Now it isn't like I am not awake, I get up at 6am to wake up my kids, but the little one doesn't leave until a few hours after my eldest, so my coffee time is delayed. A few friends have on occasion broken the rule and have found themselves on the other end of my tirade, but then again I have forewarned them. 


The tirades I give to friends and acquaintances are not laced filled with obscenities; those are reserved for "special" people. Yesterday morning at the ungodly hour of 8:31am I received such a call. Looking back, I feel sorry for the poor bastard, but I was back in my bed since my little one still was sleeping until the disruption. Here is our conversation, please forgive my gutter mouth, like I said I am not a morning person.

Phone (Ring Ring)
me (bleary-eyed, groggy and hoarse): 'Hello?'
Chipper eager voice:  "Good morning, may I speak to your husband?"
Me (waking up & curious): "May I ask who is calling?"
Chipper schmuck: "Well it's not necessary, I can speak with any adult in the house."
Me (now getting angry since I know this isn't important): "What are you selling?"
Chip the schmuck: "Oh no, not selling, just asking for contribution to the NY State Trooper Police Benevolent Association and I ..."
Me (officially PO'd): "I swear by all that is Holy if you do not remove my number from your list I will hunt you down and you will need to call the police for help!"
Schmuck (now bewildered): "There is no reason to threaten ma'am."
Me (getting ready to take the train to crazy town): "There is when you call me for bullshit at 8:30!"
(I hang up the phone)
It is now 8:37 am, and here comes my little one. "Mommy I want breakfast please!" There go my extra zzz's.


The clock now says 9:00am and I am in the kitchen, tending to the little one who is going to school at 12noon. I feed her breakfast, and get ready to start making my coffee. I am interrupted with the ringing of the phone. Looking at the caller ID, and don't recognize the phone number. Again, I apologize, I really cannot stress how much I hate the morning before coffee. I am great after, but to be truthful this isn't how I am once I drink some coffee, it's just before that is bad. Although to confess, I still despise telemarketers.


Phone (Ring Ring)
Me (annoyed waiting for coffee to finish steeping): "Hello?"
Another schmuck: "Yes hi there, I am looking for Mr Benjamin"
Me (rolling my eyes): "What for?"
Idiot who has no idea what is about to hit him: "Umm yeah, well this is Tommy calling from Proactive."
Me (trying not to cuss): "What is Proactive?"


Now let me stop and pause right now to explain. I didn't recognize the name of the product because I do not have any cognitive thoughts, other than care for the kids; before I have had my coffee. So when I asked the question I was not being sarcastic, I was still in my walking around functional coma. Now back to my verbal assault.


Idiot Tommy from Proactive that is about to cry: "Proactive is an acne medication that ..."
Me (now completely on the verge of a psychotic break cutting off the 2nd schmuck of the morning): "Listen my husband does not suffer from acne, and we are on the DO NOT CALL LIST! Take our number off your call list."
Idiot (now taking his life in his hands being assertive): "Well we aren't calling you, we are calling him."
Me (PSYCHO): "LOOK HERE MOTHER FUCKER, THIS IS MY PHONE, MY TIME IF YOU CALL THIS HOUSE AGAIN NOT ONLY WILL I SUE YOUR COMPANY BUT I WILL MAKE IT MY MISSION TO HACK YOUR ACCOUNTS FIND YOU AND CALL YOUR ASS EVERY FUCKING DAY AT 7AM!"
Whimpering idiot Tommy: "There is no need to be so hostile, I noticed your hostility since I first called."
Me (Still PSYCHO): "WELL YOU CALLED ME, JACK ASS, I DIDN'T CALL YOU!"
Tommy the ass pushing his luck: "You don't need to be so rude."
Me (agitated and thinking how can I hack this company directory to hunt this guy down): "NO, Rude would be me blowing a rape whistle into the phone!!"
Shocked, whimpering Tommy the ass from Proactive: "Well I don't need to hear you curse at me lady."
Me (Full Blown PSYCHO): "YEAH, WELL GO TELL YOUR MOTHER ON ME! JUST DON'T EVER CALL ME AGAIN YOU DUMB ASS!"
Idiot Tommy: "I don't see what I did to you."
Me: "Really? You called to sell me crap I don't need, and all before I had my coffee!"
Hanging up for second time.

Now I know that some of you are aghast at my behavior. It is shameful and if I were still a practicing Catholic I would have to make a trip to the confessional. Okay, I admit that I went nuts, lost control, I am not a morning person! Shoot me! Just don't ever call me in the morning before my first cup of coffee. Still I have to wonder what was the point of registering my numbers on the DO NOT CALL LIST if these people are going to call me anyway.


Side note: I haven't received another call from any telemarketers since. I suspect that I have been tweeted about by the poor saps that called me in the morning. Maybe they collectively warned other telemarketers not to call my number. Nah, just wishful thinking!!

Quote time, and yes even for this I can find a quote or two:

"A morning without coffee is like sleep." ~Author Unknown
 
"I'm old enough and cranky enough now that if someone tried to tell me what to do, I'd tell them where to put it." ~Dolly Parton

"I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time"~Author Unknown

"The morning cup of coffee has an exhilaration about it which the cheering influence of the afternoon or evening cup of tea cannot be expected to reproduce." ~Oliver Wendell Holmes