Do I have your
attention now? I bet I do. Amazing how such a small word can hold the attention
of so many. The power of this word became apparent to me a while back.
When I first joined Facebook, I would post provocative questions in my status.
First it was done just to entertain, but the constant observer in me delighted
in the variety of responses I would receive. Granted, some were still too shy
or intimidated to answer honestly, most likely due to the lack of anonymity.
This is has never been the case for me.
For the next few
blog entries we are going to travel and delve into those various questions and
peel back the shroud that still exists in our society when it comes to sex, men
and women. Primarily sex and women. The reason I have decided to visit
this subject, is simply because we are already preoccupied with it. The proof
is in the salacious stories we see bombarding our news, especially as of late
with the newest Washington scandal involving the Secret Service and
prostitutes. I am not going to dive into the politics of this latest scandal,
we will have enough time for that, and I am certain that there will be plenty
more to come.
Today, I had a
"tweet battle" (I swear that sounds like something out of Dr Seuss);
with an acquaintance regarding women and sex. It had been his assertion
that women shouldn't have sex on the first date. Reason why? The man would not
get into a relationship with them afterwards. This irritated me beyond belief.
Please do not misinterpret what I am saying, I am not advocating for women
across the nation to screw the first guy they see. Sex, however, is a
biological impulse. It is also a physiological benefit to the parties when
performing the act of sex. I am not making this up, you can check the facts
with Dr. Oz, but I digress. It is not for the physical relief of pleasure that
I say women can have sex on the first, second or last date, I say it because
any two mature responsible adults can engage in sex for the fun of it without
the baggage. Provided you leave the baggage at the door. Just realize why you
are engaging in the act. Is it for the pleasure and relief? Or do you have an
end goal other than an orgasm?
My twitter friend
said; "More females than not (not all) who didn't wait wish they had
waited a bit longer. Many stated that they felt cheap or used afterwards".
I argued this and countered that if the woman is confident and self
assured within her own sexuality there is no regret. Of course if the sex is
bad, there may be some regret as to not having opted for the V8 rather than the
bad bed partner. Someone else added that women who do have sex on the first
date suffer from low self esteem. Again, I balk at this inference, for a woman
with low self esteem, having sex on the first date, will feel just as bad had
the sex occurred on the first or tenth. Reason being is that the sex was given
with an ulterior motive. Ladies, I beg of you, stop thinking that your va-jay-jay
is the Holy Grail. Just because you can do it right does not mean that the man
will drop to his knees and beg you to stay with him. Too many women have been
fooling themselves into believing that if they are freaks in the bedroom, the
man will stay. Reality is a man will stay when you want him to. Just
don't expect to find Captain Save-a-Ho stepping up to the plate when your game
is weak.
To better explain
this I am going to state some hard truths to you. Do not seek what you do not
already have. If you want a good man, with a job, financially secure and is
stable, well then YOU need to be a good woman, with a job, who is financially
secure and mentally stable. Flying your freak flag across the country does not
insure you better odds, regardless of what your girlfriends may tell you. Men also
need to not be so judgmental. If you are engaging in sex, responsibly with a
woman after a great first date, she may just have wanted sex. We (women) are
sexual beings as well, and contrary to popular belief, have active libidos and
lustful desires.
I, for one, LOVE
sex, and will state without shame, that I have had my share of lovers. This did not make me
a slut, vamp or prostitute, I was merely a grown woman with desires and had
them met. Difference is I did not have sex to fulfill some emptiness, or to
validate who I was. My choice to have sex when I was single was simple, either
I had a night with B.O.B. or I could have some time with a man I was interested
in. Sex for sex sake can happen, for both men and women. Regardless of your
choice, just be sure it is a choice you are prepared for, emotionally and
mentally.
Please also remember to always practice safe sex! Because they now have
diseases that can kill you or never leave.
Always with a
quote or two for you, here are my selections on this subject;
"Sex
without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go it's one of
the best." ~ Woody Allen
“Life without
sex might be safer but it would be unbearably dull. It is the sex instinct,
which makes women seem beautiful, which they are once in a blue moon, and men
seem wise and brave, which they never are at all. Throttle it, denaturalize it,
take it away, and human existence would be reduced to the prosaic, laborious,
bore some, imbecile level of life in an anthill.” ~Henry Louis Mencken
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